8 Pride

8                          Learning to Check My Pride at the Garage Door.

     His way, my way, or the highway, can there truly be no other option? When it comes to marriage and family there is no room for pride. It takes up too much space and it hurts too many feelings and basically gets us nobody anywhere except in the dog house. Why is it is so easy to see pride in other people and so hard to see in myself? I wish we had a mirror for that, when I find myself feeling contentious instead of self-reflecting to see if I’m the problem, I could just run to a mirror and see the ugly part I need to get rid of deal with it and be on my way. Or better yet take a pill or receive an inoculation and be cured.

     Ezra Taft Benson mentioned several, okay a lot, of different types of pride: faultfinding, gossiping, complaining, criticizing, backbiting, being unforgiving or jealousy. It can be conceited, selfish, fighting, using unrighteousness dominion even withholding gratitude. It  usually brings contention with it so it’s not too hard to recognize especially when we see it in others.  
     Benson states, ‘Pride is a universal sin.” At least I’m not the only one dealing with it. Sin is a tricky word. Does that mean his (my husbands) will verses my will or His will, meaning the Saviors will, verses my will? If it’s the Saviors will that would take on a different connotation needing some repentance on my part. Ezra Taft Benson says, “The antidote for pride is humility-meekness, submissiveness”-(Alma 7:23) it is a broken heart and a contrite spirit. I find it really easy to want to fix others it’s much more difficult to fix myself.

     One example of my pride brings contention into my marriage: Whenever my husband borrows something from my tool box (we have separate ones) or my gardening tools, shovels etc. it goes missing. I find them in the yard, on the top of the washing machine, on the floor of the garage, in the back of his truck and everywhere but where he got them, which is on a shelf or a hook in the garage. This makes me crazy…..You tell me am I the one being prideful or is he the problem? Okay you probably shouldn’t answer that. I have 2 choices be frustrated with him and explain his obvious sin or just smile change my attitude, since it is all I can change after 33 years of trying to change him and put away whatever was left out myself.

     Using my agency and forgiving him and just putting it away is changing myself, it is really all I can do, I’m choosing him over my tools, he is more valuable than my tools are. I’m choosing kindness, forgiveness, charity and love, the Saviors way. “Love is not a happy accident; it is a choice.” (Goddard, Drawing Heaven Into you Marriage) I can choose to be forgiving letting go of my righteous pride and how good I am about putting things away and realize he’s just good at other stuff. Does a happy marriage require 2 forgivers? Yes I believe it does. Do you?