Families
and marriages are being attacked on the left and right almost as aggressively as
wolves attacking prey. One of the predators I see inside families specifically attacks marriage. It called excessive individualism. When one or both
marriage partners seem to be more concerned about self than the family or spousal
relationship as a unit, the relationship becomes disposable. These drive-by
relationships seem to be more of a convenient contract than a marriage
covenant.
Personal
autonomy can leave individuals feeling … well individual and alone. Who doesn’t
want to be a part of something special? As children we all wanted to be a part
of a “club.” Weather our friends or siblings created a special club we wanted
in. Why? We innately desire to be a part of something more than ourselves.
Culture and society teach us my job, my dreams, my life and if you aren’t a
part of my perfect life or want the same things I want then you can just move
on and find someone else who “ fits” better. Well butter cup, there is no
perfect life. Life is messy, families are messy, kids are messy and I have learned
the most about myself by looking at something larger than myself and sticking
it out through the tough times.
For
myself and my family there have been tough times, having teenagers was tough,
having a little girl on antibiotics for 6 years was tough, having surgeries on
unborn babies and almost losing a child tough. There was also awesome, fun, love
and compassion and tender hearts for success when children have worked so hard
and overcome discouragement and frustration. All of the tough and hard things
have also brought the complete opposite with so much joy and happiness to
balance. These struggles and successes have strengthened my marriage and the
covenant I made to the man I want to spend my life with. We have weathered a
lot and grown closer because of it.
As
Bruce C. Hafen mentioned in his Ensign article, Covenant Marriage” Marrying and
raising children can yield the most valuable religious experience of there
lives. Covenant marriage requires almost a total leap of faith: they must keep
their covenants without knowing the risks that may be required of them. The must
surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then
they will discover what Alma called, “incomprehensible joy.”
I
like the sound of incomprehensible joy, who has too much of that?
Had I
not stuck out the hard times I would have missed an opportunity to be a part of
this club.
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