2 Blessings and Curses
Monday April 22, 2019
This blog is my thoughts and experiences with
my family, which have mostly been a huge blessing but occasionally more like a
curse. My commitment to family is un-failing and I remain committed to my
promise of for better or worse. How I feel about marriage and how I adjusted to
these experiences changed my feelings as I learned to put others first, to
serve, to have compassion and understanding.
As an introduction I have been married for 33 years. I got married at 20 and had a baby a year later. He was the first of 5. Having my parents’ divorce and mom headed to work I was forced to take over child care at the age of 7 for a younger brother and sister. This experience left me with little desire for children of my own. Since I ended up with 5 children you can see I changed my mind about having children as I grew and matured.
Divorce
is brutal on children and fighting among parents makes it even more challenging.
Watching my dad kick my mother in the face while wearing boots is something I
have visualized on and off for 45 years, those things don’t go away. Playing dirty
by pretending dad is coming to see you and then pretending he doesn’t show up
so we grow to not like him is also ugly. That being said I learned a lot about
the things I would tolerate in a spouse and I also learned to let little things
go because it can be so much worse than having my toothpaste squeezed in the middle.
In
our 33 years of marriage we have had 2 fights, not to say we never get annoyed,
we do, however we have come up with code words when someone is getting testy to
alleviate the contention. One of our favorite phrases is, "is that a tone?” We
actually heard that phrase from the pulpit during a talk at church. It is our cue to
check what we are saying and to be sure we are saying it kindly. Another
favorite is, “That sounded sassy, are you feeling sassy?” Being from the south,
I like to use it, but often it’s used on me.
Respect and kindness in marriage blesses families and allows for
productive conversation. It also allows for growth, peace and encouragement.
Families are ordained of God and as Adam and Eve were encouraged to "multiply and replenish the earth" Genisis 1: 28 we have the same responsibility. That decree was not taken away. Children have the God given right to a mom and a dad. Studies have shown raising children in a two parent home is the best way to prepare them for adulthood.
One quote I really identify with is by Spencer W. Kimball he said, "The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” Wow is that a wake up call to good parenting and it's importance? I think so!
Families are ordained of God and as Adam and Eve were encouraged to "multiply and replenish the earth" Genisis 1: 28 we have the same responsibility. That decree was not taken away. Children have the God given right to a mom and a dad. Studies have shown raising children in a two parent home is the best way to prepare them for adulthood.
One quote I really identify with is by Spencer W. Kimball he said, "The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.” Wow is that a wake up call to good parenting and it's importance? I think so!
This is my goofy family minus a son and wife and 3 kids but they are below.
Family is the center of my world and I feel it is the center of Gods world as well.
